Some people never change.

I feel like I shouldnt even have to say this. If you have facebook you should be an adult and know facebook is not an outlet to air your dirty laundry, its not a place to let all your family business out. My new years resolution was to take all the negative people out of my life. They don't deserve to be apart of my blessed path through life. I feel ones life is based on the people you surround your self by. So thats exactly what i am doing.  FAMILY OR NOT!

Now on to my next point. I as a mother I made the decision that I didn't want people tagging and sharing my pictures with people. Now I guess some of you need an explanation for this if you are not personally close with us there is no reason for you to be tagging yourself in my pictures. My dads family or not. Only a few of you are in contact with me and this is not directed towards you. But if you cant add me to your friends list THEN DO NOT TAG YOURSELF IN MY PICTURES.  I mean really you just had a grandson how would your sons girlfriend feel if I went and tagged myself in their pictures a person she barely knows. I don't think she would like it. So why would you want pictures of MY DAUGHTERS on your page when you have nothing to do with me. For the simple fact to let everyone know your brother has beautiful twin granddaughters. You can send them to his page he has pictures of them. Thanks

Other then this stupid pointless nonsense. My vacation is going veryyy good. The girls did great on the plane and are a little crabby with being in an unfamiliar place but not bad. We're just hanging out with great grammy aunt cathy jess tj and kids and enjoying being around them. Georgia in a few days and I must so I am soo excited for the girls to meet all the great people that are there. :) Thats all for tonight besides praying for daddy to arrive at his destination safe. We love you Daddy!

Best Friends? and Doctors

Today I felt like I was working so hard for a friendship that I never had to work at before. You shouldn't have to work at a friendship. I felt like I was working to keep a conversation up and grasping at things. Truth is we have nothing in common anymore but I don't feel like that is an excuse for a friendship that you've had for so long. But you cant make someone be your friend. Oh well I give up.

On a lighter note went to the dr's today have two healthy baby girls. :) I love them. Smiles from them definitely makes me day a thousand times better.

blahhh blahh blah

I feel like its impossible to make any one happy now a days.  No matter what I say or do someone reads into it wrong and I'm always the bad guy. I dont think anyone around me stops for two seconds and puts them selves in my shoes. Not asking for sympathy but for 5 seconds attempt to understand my life. I went from my own life with my own home. To living back at my parents with 2 kids and a husband across the world. So sorry I'm not a ray of fucking sunshine all the time. I'm a person who needs her space always has. So quit telling me if I'm that unhappy to go back home. The thought of taking care of twin infants on my own with out any help isnt appealing to me but will if i have to.

My second issue I'm not that friend who tells you what you want to hear. I wont sit there nod my head and paint you a picture of unicorns that shits rainbows and cottoncandy. I'm gonna be real with you and tell you how I see it. If you ask what your wear is ugly bet your ass I will let you know. If i think your bf or husband is a d-bag I will most likely tell you but something would have to happen for me to tell you. I'm not that big of a bitch to just come out and say it about because clearly you see something in that person. Personally if you dont like it then dont be my friend I promise I wont be hurt.

Tomorrows a new day and hopefully better. I think this winter weather making me stay inside is getting to me I need out of the house!!

Realizations.

Things I've realized since kids and deployment.

Two things that MAKE you grow up. First I've realized my husband is my truest best friend, I mean I have best friends but he's my absolute complete rock. Deployments show you the person you can be. No matter how much I miss him or wish like hell every time my daughters do something new that he was here. I cant go to bed, sit there and cry all day. I put on a smile keep going. I've learned to enjoy little things, never again will I take for granted a four day weekend of watching COD. :D You meet awesome people and wives who you become close with quick. shout outs to Tara P.(my nice twin)! because most of your other friends and family have no idea. P&E gave me a whole new view on life. Small stuff doesnt matter. The people you surround your self with do. There isnt any need for a lot of friends just true friends and honestly all the ones who dont matter weed them selves out anyways. I've found a new appreciation for my mama. Even tho she doesnt think i do i really really do appreciate her. She handles me even when i am cranky and impossible. Since having twins I've come to the realization sleep is a luxury and so is a nice long shower and eating a hot meal or a meal at all. My daughters amaze me daily. They say when you have a child its like having your heart walk outside your body. Couldnt be anymore true they are everything to me, I would give up anything for them and their safety and happiness. I could make this entry go on foreverr. Long story short in the last 6 months I've realized more about my self then I have in my whole 20 year of existence.

Day 1.

Today i decided to stop drinking pop and make a "lifestyle change" because i hate the word diet. Diets are temporary. Not because I am un-happy with the way I look because honestly I have alot of self confidence. I do know that I'm out of shape and my thing is soon my daughters are going to be running me ragged and I want to be able to play all day with out getting tired or worn out. Plus my addiction to mountain dew is sooo outrageous. Really thats my killer I dont even remember to feed myself half the time lol sad but true. A fellow army wife friend told my about myfitnesspal.com LOVE it makes counting easier. But if any one has any suggesting or fun excises let me know I'm up for anything.

Military Goodbyes....Cya later.

You stand there proud. Many things running through your mind. Trying to stay strong for him, you know he doesn't like to see  you cry.  Your heart is pounding through your chest, breaking but swelling with pride at the same time. Telling your self it's not that long, I'll get by. You give that final hug and here they comes, the tears your swore you wouldn't cry. Walking away wiping your eyes knowing you'll never get used to a military goodbye.

I dont think it ever gets easier. I believe its a minds natural defense to push the negative feelings out. You become numb life goes on.  My daughters dont stop needing me because mommy misses daddy today. I push on knowing one more day i make it through and one more day until we say hello again!

Did you really just say that!! @#$%

Most annoying things people say to me!

About my kids

-Are they twins?
Nope just figured I would match everything car seat, blankets, clothes and KIDS!!

-Oh good luck to you.
Well thanks for the luck but  you can keep it, you need it more. I have two examples of my luck. :)

-Are they IVF?
Yes at 19 years old I decided hey ya know I just have all this money floating around why don't I go get IVF. derrrr. NO

- I know how you feel my kids are 14 months apart.
Stop right there. No you dont. I carried 2 kids in my body, right here is where you lose. I got up with 2 newborn infants praying to god that they will wake up at the same time. You may know what its like to have a young toddler and an infant atleast one of the two can hold their own bottle most likely sleep through the night and doesnt poop every hour.

-How do you do it? 
I hate this one because there isn't really a way to answer. I just do it. You had 1 kid you taught yourself how to take care of your child. Well I taught myself how to take care of two. HA

About being an army wife.

-I don't know how you do it? I couldnt! 
urghh another how do you do it. What one does for love is all I say. Hes the love of my life there isn't much I wouldn't do for him. So I put my big girl panties on and deal. Easier said then done!

-Arent you glad he is in Iraq and not Afghanistan?
Yes Afghanistan is scary and way worse then Iraq and I am thankful he is there. Its still war people hes not home I'm not glad hes in the better of two places I will be glad when he is home.

-I'm Sorry.
Why because my husbands pretty much hard core and yours isnt. I'd be sorry too.

December.

Has been busy so glad everything is settled down. Uncle Fred and Aunt Christy finally got to meet the girls. Loved visiting with them and watching them get to know the girls. We had an awesome christmas all around very spoiled little girls. Made it through without daddy but makes us appreciate him more and all he does for us.

New Things
We've started cereal and now sleep most of the night woohoo.
Sitting in our bumbo seats :)
some what reaching and grabbing.
Sucking on our fists....teeth ehhh?

I'm so glad its finally 2011 and I get to look forward to my husband coming home and all the memories that we finally get to make as a family. bittersweet count down. I don't really have an new years resolutions like quit smoking because i already dont. Maybe to stop drinking mountdew but its my form of coffee :/  mostly to be a better person and to eliminate any negativity from our lives. Which brings me to my next point. Its like when you become a mommy you figure out who your real friend who matters who doesnt and who has always been there. I've come to the conclusion its okay to lose them because you always gain better mommy friends that understand you and that are mostly mature....not all of them are. :) Looking back its been the best year of my life and I wouldnt change a thing. Ruff pregnancy deployment and all Because I wouldnt be the person I am.

Alright thats all for tonight. Happy New Years all!!!